The One with No Life.

Hey…
It’s quite a long time since I updated my tumblr. I’ve been good but recently, something just snap inside me. I’m alright with everything and I know I’m strong to face this but somehow the challenges that I face now seemed more hard and it hurts so bad… Really bad. And I feel like I want to avoid him so badly… But I can’t coz he is still my bestfriend. Maybe… Just maybe, I need to distant myself. Perhaps work and studying helps, just to make myself busy. I can’t describe how I feel when I saw the post… I can’t believe I’m strong enough to even talk to him now…
Currently, I’m in a useless and helpless state where my mind is blank but my heart is broken… Torn to pieces and I don’t think I’m able to fix it back in this point of time.
I can finally pronounce to myself, I’m heartbroken. Really bad.

“I know you will feel what I feel.
I know sooner or later you’ll be able to understand.
When love is force, it will not be good.
You need to love someone that loves you too.
Someone who deserves your love.
Please let go, all of the feelings that you had for me.
So that you’ll feel better and free. When it’s hard for you to forget me, slowly and take your time.
I didn’t mean to hurt you but this is what I feel.”

I understand. You’ve been really nice… A good hearted guy indeed. The truth is… I can’t deny it hurts, but it’s because of myself thinking too much… Yes. I’m upset but like what you said before to me during my first confession when I told you l like you and I apologize then you said “It’s okay. No worries. It’s all part and parcel of life.” This bits and pieces of what you said helps me to be a strong girl. All the memories… I should just keep but I just don’t understand why my heart doesn’t want to let you go… This is what happens to me when I fall… really deeply for a guy.